speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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