he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
