I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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