The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
