my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
