Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
