Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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