and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
