I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize