I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
