im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
