TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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