I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
