my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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