oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
