I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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