Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
