this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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