love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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