can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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