How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The power of my boobs compel you
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
