did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
