we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
