i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
