It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
