Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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