Can i not drive my cunt home
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Blood and glitter go together right?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
