Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
