i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
