you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I would fuck him just for his dog
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
