Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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