I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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