real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
