I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
