White coat. Heels.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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