do herpes really smell.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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