I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
