Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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