I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it was like eating out sand paper
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
