so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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