he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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