What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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