Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
