at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
