apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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