They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
