I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
