i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
