ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
