I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
