I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
are you so shy because you have an std?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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