i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
